Bikes: The new sensation that's not sweeping anything

I decided to click the "Next blog" button at the top of the screen, being bored and having gotten frustrated with Metal Gear Solid 2 (I played for 10 minutes, got killed 7 times, and ragequit. Money well spent.)

While I did expect the common "obsessive mom" and "creepy religious" blogs, I did not expect to find that half of all blogs would be made up about bikes. While I was amused by a single one of these blogs (the bikers taking part of it having named themselves "Team Bi-atch"), I am still baffled and afraid. Is there something I'm missing? Is this a fad? If so, I do not approve. Anything that supports full grown men in tight spandex should be punishable by guillotine. Guillotine of the non spandex persuasion.

However, just in case the creepy religion and bicyclists ever happen to meet up, thus coming after me with pitchforks and spare chains, I have decided to compose one entry fulfilling the apparently necessary bicycle data requirement.

A bicycle, sometimes used for riding.

Having typed "A bicycle" into google, related searches were a computer and a bus.Once more, I am extremely confused.

Bicycle, noun, otherwise known as a bike (it's thug name) is a wheel that is sexually attracted to both male and female partners.

While often meant for riding, their sole purpose is to not only annoy drivers, but pedestrians as well. It gives the two, who usually hate one another, a matter on which to agree.

One can also take a bike to the park three times a week in an attempt to pick up attractive women. They will say, "Is that bike yours?" And you will say, "Yes, I ride it three times a week." And she will say, "Wow I am impressed I wish I could ride a bike three times a week." And you will say, "Yes, I also have a blog about it. I update it when I am not riding my bike."

At least that's how it will play out in your mind as women give you a once over, scowl, and walk away.

That is if you can ever get off the couch and actually get on said bike.

....Unlikely.

Hitting a bicyclist will earn you ten points, unless a head shot is applied, in which case NIGGA WAI DA FUCK YO' GOTTA GUN IN DIS MOTHAFUCKIN CAR? IF Y'ALL DUN' HAVE A GUN IN DIS HERE CAR, HOW DA FUCK YOU APPLYIN'  HEADSHAWTS? HO, I WILL KILL YOU.

Hookers and blow.

It may or may not be 2 in the morning, and I may or may not have any idea what I'm talking about.