Duke Nukem

Hmmm... What's the gun supposed to represent? It's pretty big... About as big as his... ego.

This. What is it? I downloaded the demo for Duke Nukem Forever to see if it would be any good.

The game starts off with a cutscene of you taking a piss. Give yourself a moment to just really let that sink in. You... taking a piss. Let this be a foreshadowing for the rest of the game. Four seconds after said pee scene, I walked into a bathroom stall, picked up a piece of shit, and threw it against the wall. I have no words... Why would anyone ever make that possible? WHY?

Also, after a few minutes of playing, the title screen reveals that you are actually Duke Nukem playing Duke Nukem Forever whilst getting a blowjob from twin girls. They're both about two feet apart from one another. Is Duke Nukem's penis really so large that girls can be sitting TWO FUCKING FEET away from eachother and still give him one single blowjob?

It's probably cancerous, Duke.

Hell, maybe he just has two. He is DUKE MOTHERFUCKING NUKEM afterall.

Anyway, the girls ask you something along the lines of "What about the game, Duke? Was it good, too?" Followed by some satanic giggling, and then Nukem states/snorts, "Yeah, but after 12 fucking years it should be."

...Oh the irony.

Actually, the graphics and gameplay are fun... but the dialogue, voices, and jokes are just so... retarded. I can't get passed it.

I mean, Resident Evil 4 is my favorite game, and it contains some BAD dialogue itself.

Hey Leon, wanna go play some Duke Nukem?

Didn't think so.

It's my fault, really. What else am I supposed to expect from a Duke Nukem game?

I can't stop saying Duke Nukem.

Duke Nukem.

Duke Nukem.

OH YEAH, SHAKE IT BABY. B)