Good quotes by good folks

"I'm gay minus the whole 'liking men' part."
-Manwhorz

"I'm hornier than a viking hat and got more bitches than a dog farmer."
-Sami

"What kind of asshole farms dogs?"
-Dalton

"What the chocolatey snack?"
-Marc

"It's only funny because it's so retarded."
-Alex

"...But what if Draco fell off a bridge and became a parallelogram?"
-Gigi

"What? What the fuck are you talking about?"
-Everyone else

"Because of YOU have I have 'ballsack mittens' in my search history!"
-Alli

"We knew this kid back in New York... and by 'we' I mean 'John' and by 'kid' I mean 'drug dealer'."
-Veronica

"Religious views? Yeaaaa there is no God- BAM. Right in the religion!"
-Dave

I'm sure there's tons of more quotes, but I can't be bothered to think of any right now. I'm attending an anime convention next week (Yeah, I'm pretty cool. No big deal.) and that should lead to a rather... interesting blog.

Also, I hate that the blog looks so text filled lately, so please enjoy this picture:

This picture that contains more text....

I Seem To Have Stopped Writing

It would seem that I only have one entry for the month of July.

That is unacceptable. I blame summer completely. 

Also the fact that I am unsure how many people actually still read this contributes to the lack of... contribution. 

Well, I read this, so, as my dad would say, "FUCK Y'ALL"

There may or may not be a good chance that he has never said that, but that will just have to remain a mystery. 

Moving right along, I am rather excited for the release of Deus Ex. Which, by the way, sounds like the french way to say Ex Dee. They should work on that part.

It's as if God said "You know what's cool? Robots. I like robots." The quality of this game is, however, far too advanced for my computer. When I stated "I'm rather excited for the release of Deus Ex" what I actually meant to say was "I'm rather excited to watch Kai play Deus Ex". 

800 and counting.

I'm only about 200 views away from being at 1,000 views.

That'll be pretty cool. Once it happens... I'll do something special for you guys. I don't know what though.

I'll um... I'll upload nudes. Not of myself though, I have more dignity left than would be expected. I'll get someone else to do it for me.

How do you guys feel about omegle dicks?

Yeah. I'll go with that.

Omegle dicks for everybodyyyy. Hooraaaaay.

The math behind bein' gay

"Me and my friend Vanessa, also known as ~Ohchinchin, were discussing how my brother said both homosexual and queer together, causing us to assume that someone who is both homosexual and queer would be one who is a gay gay guy, also known as a straight guy."

What exactly does it mean to be gay? Through much research, scientists and mathmaticians have now been able to put a mathmatic formula behind it.

Gay- One of the basics roots.

Straight- One of the basic roots.

Gay x Gay- Straight. Gay is, in a sense, a negative number. Thus, a person who is Gay squared is actually straight.

Gay x Gay x Gay- A "straight gay" is born from this formula. A homosexual with absolutely no flamboyancy.


Gay x Gay x Gay x Gay- Double straight. Usually used for the more annoying Christians... cuz BEIN' A QUEEROSEXUAL IS A SIN.

Tip: Why not brighten someones day by telling them how straight they are? Title should be awarded to any anti-TGLB people met.

Gay x Gay x Gay x Gay x Gay- A flamboyant Gay. 

More than one solution- Most often found in fractions and quadratic formula real life. A Bisexual.

No Solution/Imaginary numbers- When a solution simply does not work. Asexual. They are also imaginary I guess.

Infinite solutions-Perverts.

Coke addictions and other irrelevant things

I am not entirely sure how to start off this blog entry, so allow me to simply begin by saying:


"...Just then, a horny The Old One leapt out from behind a tampon and fucked Dr. Rockso in the urethra. ‘ARGH!’ Dr. Rockso screamed."

If you're asking yourself "Vanessa, why you gotta want me dead?", then allow me to explain. I recently showed my friend Alli (She requested I whore out her tumblr, so enjoy: http://a11i.tumblr.com/) this blog, to which she responded  "My only suggestion is to write about me more."

And that is exactly what I am doing.  Mentioning that fucking THE OLD ONE. 

The Old One doing what she does best. Being a penis.

In other news, the new DMC is going to be released rather soon. You all remember Dante, don't you?

Problem?

While I'm not a huge fan of the Devil May Cry series, I am kind of excited to see Dante's badass white hair and red coat back in action as he slays demon after demon.

So what the fuck is this? It looks like Dante got fed up with life and started doing heroin to cope. Also he fights robots now. Wasn't the entire plot of DMC that he was fighting demons for his dead mother or some shit?

However, I have been all too aware of retarded new Dante for quite some time, but I only recently saw the designer/overall planner for the new DMC game.

I... have no words. This blog is done now.

Art

Seeing as how I own a camera, I am an artist. People often ask me "Vanessa, how do you make such good art? Do you own a camera?" and I respond with "I am a professional and, yes, own a camera." Then they usually continue with "Can I make art as good as you if I own a camera?" And I say, "I don't know... you have to be pretty deep and misunderstood to become a photographic artist like myself... but owning a camera is a good start and maybe you could take pictures of puppies or something."

Spiraling Downward

The staircase represents our spiral into insanity. However, our local mall contains no spiraled staircases so I had the option of photographing the regular kind or an elevator shaft. The man on the stairs represents us all and is perhaps telling us to yield... but we cannot. The babies should be disregarded as they are babies and do not go insane very often.

My Soul

This little gem is entitled "My Soul", as it gives you an inward look at how deep and creative I truly am. Don't I have pretty eyes? I doesn't matter though because I am an artist and artists don't care about looks. We are too busy being free spirits. 

Leap of Faith

 I call this piece "Leap of Faith". It depicts me, full of colour and spirit, walking on the brightest part of this dismal world. I am struggling with my views on religion and sexuality. Will I make it? Let's hope so for the sake of the artistic community. Send me your prayers. Or don't. I haven't decided if I am an atheist or not yet. Whichever is more artsy.

Forgotten Souls

"Forgotten Souls". This is what we have become. This is me and my friend Darkness Twilight. We are both misunderstood creatures and are often called "emo" even though we don't believe in stereotypes. If anything we would most likely be gothic so everyone's stereotyping is wrong anyway.

Rebelling

"Rebelling" against society. It doesn't matter if we're both girls we should be allowed to walk through the mall holding hands and taking pictures without anyone stopping us. This picture is very deep and meaningful because we are experimenting (LOL bi people are so COOL! GSA WOO!~ XD). Just because we both only like men does not mean we cannot be bisexual or even full lesbians.

Slaughter

After our venture into the deep world of art, Darkness Twi and I went to a little underground non mainstream shop to discuss the photo shoot. It's a place called Taco Bell, but you've probably never heard of it. During this time almost all of the fillings in her taco fell out and it was a tragedy only comparable to the holocaust. THE holocaust. It's kinda mainstream but that's alright my heart still goes out to them. MMFWCL. Mwah.

Colors of the Rainbow

 "Colors of the Rainbow"... and brown... mostly brown.

Society's Curse

This shows how society has effected even classic things such as Spiderman. I don't read comics like Spiderman though... I prefer ones such as JTHM and Emily the Strange.

I hope you all have enjoyed my display of fine arts... both classic and modern. If you would like to use my art for anything please ask first because it is mine and I wouldn't want to have to sue you.

Duke Nukem

Hmmm... What's the gun supposed to represent? It's pretty big... About as big as his... ego.

This. What is it? I downloaded the demo for Duke Nukem Forever to see if it would be any good.

The game starts off with a cutscene of you taking a piss. Give yourself a moment to just really let that sink in. You... taking a piss. Let this be a foreshadowing for the rest of the game. Four seconds after said pee scene, I walked into a bathroom stall, picked up a piece of shit, and threw it against the wall. I have no words... Why would anyone ever make that possible? WHY?

Also, after a few minutes of playing, the title screen reveals that you are actually Duke Nukem playing Duke Nukem Forever whilst getting a blowjob from twin girls. They're both about two feet apart from one another. Is Duke Nukem's penis really so large that girls can be sitting TWO FUCKING FEET away from eachother and still give him one single blowjob?

It's probably cancerous, Duke.

Hell, maybe he just has two. He is DUKE MOTHERFUCKING NUKEM afterall.

Anyway, the girls ask you something along the lines of "What about the game, Duke? Was it good, too?" Followed by some satanic giggling, and then Nukem states/snorts, "Yeah, but after 12 fucking years it should be."

...Oh the irony.

Actually, the graphics and gameplay are fun... but the dialogue, voices, and jokes are just so... retarded. I can't get passed it.

I mean, Resident Evil 4 is my favorite game, and it contains some BAD dialogue itself.

Hey Leon, wanna go play some Duke Nukem?

Didn't think so.

It's my fault, really. What else am I supposed to expect from a Duke Nukem game?

I can't stop saying Duke Nukem.

Duke Nukem.

Duke Nukem.

OH YEAH, SHAKE IT BABY. B)